Health: Journey of self-discovery

This article was first published in ISB's inhouse periodical, Spandan, September 2020 issue, https://sway.office.com/AGMm76bE9xBWptwE

In the middle of September 2017, I suffered from acute lower back pain that was diagnosed as Degenerative Spondylosis. A couple of days of rest and working from home along with the medication and exercises suggested by the doctor eased the situation.

I have always been fitness conscious and have undertaken varied activities from time to time, viz. aerobics, yoga, frisbee, badminton, gym, swimming, walking, and more, all in pursuit of being fit. However, over the years, especially post-delivery, I started to put on weight. I was 55kgs when I got married in 2008 and 80kgs in 2017. Of and on dalliances with physical activities resulted in a 3-4 kgs of weight loss only to get back to where I was and to continue the upward trend.

I am an avid reader and enjoy watching movies too. Eating when reading or watching movies takes the experience to an almost cosmic level! When did the “once in a while” eating sweets when reading or watching something at night turn into a habit and then addiction is difficult to pinpoint. As most women, being in-charge of keeping the kitchen stocked, I ensured a steady supply of ice creams, chocolates, wafers, and cakes for myself. I would feel something was missing and would not fall asleep until I had something sweet. Provocations and objections from my husband would result in a siesta of a week to ten days and then the sweet tooth would prevail, again.

While prescribing the medicines for the degenerative spondylosis, the doctor mentioned very casually that the core issue is weight for all such ailments, and it will keep happening as long as I was overweight. However, being obese himself, he laughed it off saying that he was not the right person to advise me to lose weight. The informal jest struck a chord. It also worried me that a recurring back ache at a fairly young age would mean living with it for another 30-40 years. The future with different types of aches didn’t seem appealing.

As a first step, upon encouragement from my husband and inspiration from a fit friend, I decided to leave all forms of processed sugar for a few months. The first few weeks were difficult, to say the least. Mood swings, tears, periods of craving, not being able to sleep- avoiding a single morsel of sweet was like going through thousands of emotions and turmoil in my mind each time, again and again, and with a straight or a smiling face. For the opportunity to eat sweets presented itself everywhere: at work, birthday parties, weddings, festivals, casual meetings with friends and family. Not everyone understood when I said “No” because everyone knew that I am fond of sweets.

We cannot control the actions, reactions, and provocations by others. But restraining myself from reacting to all the insinuations, mocking, show of non-confidence and discouragements has been another battle all together. Visits to the toilet to hide the tears and saying no when each cell in my body was craving for that sweet being offered was no different from the accounts of those in drug rehabilitation centres.

The immediate result in terms of weight loss was encouraging. With moderate levels of physical activity, in 6 weeks I had lost 6 kgs. But it was clear to me that my body had gotten used to a no sugar diet and I was not going to lose any more weight with the status quo. I decided to start with supervised training to strengthen my muscles, tone up and increase the metabolism, which is otherwise very low due to Hypothyroidism.

No sugar, workout three days a week and cardio the rest of the four days for an hour each day started to make me feel lighter, fitter, and agile. But it did not result in further weight loss. That is when I started to think about what I always knew but never gave any importance to; that weight loss is more about diet than exercise. It is easier to cut calories than burn them.

In all my years of being fitness conscious, I was not diet conscious. Hence, was neither fit nor healthy. The quest to get my diet right led me to a celebrated dietician. I had heard about her from a few other friends. I had seen a friend transform under her supervision. Others had experienced different degrees of weight loss but all of them recommended her highly. I did my own research too and decided to take the plunge.

December 8, 2017 was the beginning of my journey with eating right. It is not difficult was my first reaction. I was eating my regular dal and curry, occasionally phulka and rice too, and tasty food like paneer tikka and stir fry vegetables. I was not majorly into junk food (apart from sweets), nor did I eat too much of fried food. So, I still maintain that the diet plan given by the dietician was not difficult. Plus, she always guided me when I needed to eat out or had to travel outside Hyderabad. It was the quantity of food and the hours of eating that became critical.

The difficult part however was to tell the detractors to back off. People felt sorry for me. They felt I was torturing myself. Many did not understand that it was a choice, not a prescribed activity in a prison. I was getting fitter and healthier. I was not sick and did not feel weak because I was eating less. Similarly, there were many who would keep telling me that I had lost enough weight and need not lose any more. People often forgot that I was educated, aware, technology and internet savvy, I can search, I can read, and I knew who to approach for advice. Deflecting unsolicited advice without the “well-wishers” feeling bad is as much of a struggle as following the diet.

There are many who were genuinely concerned that I might fall sick if I don’t eat. I had to explain to them that I was not starving myself. I was eating as much as my body needed. I was just not overeating. Which I was doing earlier. Then there were those who felt that I should eat now, enjoy my life and worry about weight when I get some disease, to them I had to tell that I AM enjoying my life. I do not want to wait till I get a disease. Prevention is better than cure. Why should I wait till I get diabetes or cholesterol to lose weight? Yes, I can still fall sick for various reasons. But I want to try while I still can, to be fit and healthy.

Six months after I started the diet and with moderate levels of exercise, I reached my right BMI. I had lost 20 kgs. I went into maintenance diet. That meant lesser restrictions. It’s been more than two years since I stopped seeing the dietician. I have been able to maintain my weight with a few kgs plus/minus. Overall, I have been fit. I can do 500 breathe-in-breathe-outs in Kapalbhati, I am comfortably able to do Chakrasana, Halasana and a 21k. I can cycle 60kms at a stretch. I aim to be able to do a full marathon, fifty pushups without stopping, and 100kms of cycling in the near future. 

What has worked for me is eating right with a combination of yoga, cardio and weight training and above all, the discipline to consistently do it. Without the discipline, it is all meaningless. Discipline involves saying NO, consistently. To yourself. To others. Not giving in to temptations. Also, that you can eat everything but have the discipline to moderate the quantity.

As you become healthier and fitter, you will keep raising the bar for yourself. Initially it is weight. Then it is strength. Then flexibility. Then speed. Ultimately, mental and spiritual well-being. The quest is never ending. Take the path less trodden. You have miles to go. But keep going. The journey itself is pleasurable. You will discover many things along the way. What worked for me may not work for you. But something will. So, start and the path will reveal itself!